so, this is christmas?
....and what have we done? another year over, a new one's just begun....john lennon.
definitely one of the greatest songwriters ever...
those words carry lots of weight...
exactly what have i done this year 2006? piss off more people than 2005? maybe ...honestly, i did nothing much except pull up my sleeves and carried my stuff out of the matrimonial home. the house is sold to a couple with a child and another on the way. i wish them all the best in the neighbourhood. the noisy karaoke singing neighbours..the other neighbours who never realised you lived next to them, they who stared suspiciously when you entered the lift and got out the same floor...stupid stupid....i do hope the best for them.
brendan and beverly are having the time of their lives at their grandmother's place..i got them each a cell phone and its never turned on..they have grown fatter in some way...
i am also glad they are out of the neighbourhood. i never chose that flat, i had no choice...the ex wife and the antichrist(MIL) picked it...'nuff said!
2006 was a shitty year, the pasir panjang project only gave us and average 2 working days/week and that translates to 8 diving days a month...pathetic....no bonus also..
cant't wait to see what's in store for 2007.....heck i've hit rock bottom, can't go any deeper.....time to decompress all the way to the top........'diver left bottom!'
posted by Lone-Rhino @ 10:17 PM
1 Comments:
Thursday, February 08, 2007 10:26 PM
Dear Blogger,
I couldn't stand the confusing thoughts in my head, so I went to IMH. It was about time anyway. I was nervous when I got there. Nervous because I wasn't sure if the doctor was going to throw me out for being normal. I so wanted not to be normal. I wanted to stay there. It seemed that things were much clearer in this mental institution than the outside.
The first consultation didn't get off to a good start. How would feel if you were consulted by an M.O. who looked at you as if you were wasting his time? It was obvious that he would rather be somewhere else! He didn't even have to say a word. You would just have to look at his body language. When he did open his mouth, it was to ask questions which you came here to look for the answers in the first place!
I got up, said thanks and walked out. But not before I screamed at the registration desk that the doctor SUCKED!!! I stood at the porch and just cried. Here I was trying to get help. Instead, I got a doctor who needed more help than I did.
A nurse stopped me, together with some security guards who smartly stood ten feet away from me. If they had come closer, they'd get a serious dressing down from me. I may not fill my language with vulgarities, but I can sure make a grown man whimper with my linguistic prowess.
The nurse managed to get me back in and offered a consultation with a female M.O., Dr Chan. She wasn't so much a female doctor. I couldn't tell if she was male or female! But she was a better doctor. You need to have patience when treating a patient with personality or mental problems. This isn't some wound or disease which you can see so obviously! It takes time to work out a proper analysis and diagnosis for mentally-sick patients like me!
After which, I was seen by a senior doctor, Dr Wei. Oh! I gave Dr Chan the letter earlier. She called it a form of violence. Violence to whom I wonder. Dr Wei read the letter and agreed with her. Never in my life had I thought of letter-writing as violent. But they were the doctors.
Dr Wei did not see it necessary to have me warded for a few days. After all, I hadn't cut myself. I was only thinking about it. Perhaps next time, I should inflict physical pain on myself first. However, he wanted me to see him regularly for a psychosomatic therapy. In addition, he dispensed an anti-depressant, fluvoxamine or better known as Faverin, and anxiety pills, hydroxyzine.
I wikied these two drugs...
Fluvoxamine (brand name as Luvox®, Faverin®, Fevarin® and Dumyrox®) is an antidepressant which functions pharmacologically as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Fluvoxamine is widely prescribed to treat depression, and anxiety disorder such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Phobia and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Hydroxyzine is a piperazine derivative that is used as an antihistamine(especially for itches), antiemetic (nausea reducing), and anxiolytic (anxiety reducing) drug. It can also be used as an adjunct to pre- and post-operative medication and it also possesses a weak analgesic effect. Hydroxyzine is sold under brand names such as Atarax, Ucerax, Serecid and Vistaril.
Interesting isn't it? Now I'm supposed to take them every night, so my mood will be stable in the morning. How about some pills to make forget certain things? Or a device to make me erase some memories ala "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? We've managed to send man to the moon, yet we don't have commercially-available devices to erase some memories.
So does all this mean that I'm crazy? I still believe so. But I'm not as crazy as the so-called sane people out there in the real world. Somehow, I felt at home when I was there at IMH. Peaceful. Closest thing to an escape.
Sincerely,
modgurl.
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Name: modgurl (moddie)
DOB: 28.01.80
Location: Singapore
Ethnic: Malay/Bugis/Javanese/Chinese
View my complete profile Thursday, February 08, 2007 10:26 PM
Dear Blogger,
I couldn't stand the confusing thoughts in my head, so I went to IMH. It was about time anyway. I was nervous when I got there. Nervous because I wasn't sure if the doctor was going to throw me out for being normal. I so wanted not to be normal. I wanted to stay there. It seemed that things were much clearer in this mental institution than the outside.
The first consultation didn't get off to a good start. How would feel if you were consulted by an M.O. who looked at you as if you were wasting his time? It was obvious that he would rather be somewhere else! He didn't even have to say a word. You would just have to look at his body language. When he did open his mouth, it was to ask questions which you came here to look for the answers in the first place!
I got up, said thanks and walked out. But not before I screamed at the registration desk that the doctor SUCKED!!! I stood at the porch and just cried. Here I was trying to get help. Instead, I got a doctor who needed more help than I did.
A nurse stopped me, together with some security guards who smartly stood ten feet away from me. If they had come closer, they'd get a serious dressing down from me. I may not fill my language with vulgarities, but I can sure make a grown man whimper with my linguistic prowess.
The nurse managed to get me back in and offered a consultation with a female M.O., Dr Chan. She wasn't so much a female doctor. I couldn't tell if she was male or female! But she was a better doctor. You need to have patience when treating a patient with personality or mental problems. This isn't some wound or disease which you can see so obviously! It takes time to work out a proper analysis and diagnosis for mentally-sick patients like me!
After which, I was seen by a senior doctor, Dr Wei. Oh! I gave Dr Chan the letter earlier. She called it a form of violence. Violence to whom I wonder. Dr Wei read the letter and agreed with her. Never in my life had I thought of letter-writing as violent. But they were the doctors.
Dr Wei did not see it necessary to have me warded for a few days. After all, I hadn't cut myself. I was only thinking about it. Perhaps next time, I should inflict physical pain on myself first. However, he wanted me to see him regularly for a psychosomatic therapy. In addition, he dispensed an anti-depressant, fluvoxamine or better known as Faverin, and anxiety pills, hydroxyzine.
I wikied these two drugs...
Fluvoxamine (brand name as Luvox®, Faverin®, Fevarin® and Dumyrox®) is an antidepressant which functions pharmacologically as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Fluvoxamine is widely prescribed to treat depression, and anxiety disorder such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Phobia and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Hydroxyzine is a piperazine derivative that is used as an antihistamine(especially for itches), antiemetic (nausea reducing), and anxiolytic (anxiety reducing) drug. It can also be used as an adjunct to pre- and post-operative medication and it also possesses a weak analgesic effect. Hydroxyzine is sold under brand names such as Atarax, Ucerax, Serecid and Vistaril.
Interesting isn't it? Now I'm supposed to take them every night, so my mood will be stable in the morning. How about some pills to make forget certain things? Or a device to make me erase some memories ala "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? We've managed to send man to the moon, yet we don't have commercially-available devices to erase some memories.
So does all this mean that I'm crazy? I still believe so. But I'm not as crazy as the so-called sane people out there in the real world. Somehow, I felt at home when I was there at IMH. Peaceful. Closest thing to an escape.
Sincerely,
modgurl.
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